Hi! I'm Sam. I was very excited that it was Christmas. I like Christmas because I get toys and candy from Santa. I ate all my candy and got very bored. I like to play on the Instaweb when I'm bored. My mom told me I couldn't go to church with her because I'm too noisy when I play with my trucks. This made me sad. I talked to my friend Lola on AIM. She said I could go with her to her church! LOLACOPTER: Hi, Sam. Merry Christmas! SAAAAMMMMM: that's me. i'm Sam. LOLACOPTER: It's Lola from Uni. What are you doing today? SAAAAMMMMM: i ate all my candy. mom said i can't go to church with her. :( LOLACOPTER: Why would she not let you go to church? SAAAAMMMMM: she said i smell like dookie. LOLACOPTER: You've never been remarkable for olfactory immaculateness, but you can go to church with me. SAAAAMMMMM: YAY!!!! LOLACOPTER: Meet me at the school parking lot. We'll go from there to church. Do you know what car I drive? SAAAAMMMMM: your car is vroom vroom. it's a '65 shelby GT 350 with 202 valves, bored 30 over, decked heads, intake ported and polished, balanced, melling cam-461 lift, roller tappet assy, dual point, C4 trans, TCI stall, Tri Y headers... LOLACOPTER: It's a clone actually, but yeah. See you there! Lola picked me up in the parking lot at school. She has a vroom vroom car. She told me church was a little ways to go. We got there fast though. She said she drives like a "bat out of hell." Her church doesn't look like my church. I'm a Methodist. I think she is a Baptist. My mom told me that Baptist were full of crap but Lola is nice. I got a service pamphlet just like I was an adult! Lola explained that they called it "Baalmas" and not Christmas. Baptists are sure weird. We got to play with snakes during the service! The preacher was nice and let me pet a red snake. He told us all that Satan (that's Baptist for Santa, I think) would protect us. We never get to pet animals at my church. The hymnal at this church was different too. It only had songs by Marilyn Manson. This Christmas was the best ever.

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