The other day a wire came down from corporate: No more dogs in the store starting next year. Apparently my coworkers are a bunch of dog-lovers because this is being dubbed the Puppy Holocaust. I am completely indifferent on whether or not dogs are allowed in the store. The only thing I am concerned about is if I have to enforce the no-dog rule.
I had a job once as a security guard at night. It was crappy pay and no health insurance. The only positive thing about the job was I was being paid to be an asshole. There is something addictive about being an asshole. All night I told people to get lost. If they tried to quote the Consitution or any reason they felt entitled to be on our property I simply informed them they could go right ahead and lick my butthole.
Unfortunately being a cashier is different. You have to tell people stuff they do not want to hear while being nice. You tell these crazy dog owners to get their dog out of the store and they go crazy. Here is how I would counter some arguments about the no-dog rule if I was a security guard:
- I have always brought my dog here before.
- Women didn’t always have the right to vote. Personally I don’t think it is a good idea but things have changed. Deal with it.
- I will take my business elsewhere if I can’t bring my dog in.
- You standing here is costing us more money than we bring in from your purchases. I’m sure our competitor will love being the sole purveyor of your Mountain Dew and Spicy Cheetos.
- Where do you expect me to leave my dog… tied outside? …in the car?
- I am not detecting the usage of sarcasm so I will assume you are simply stupid. Do you take your dog with you when you go to the doctor’s office or grocery store?
As a cashier you are expected to be mealy mouthed and reason with these people. We really want your money. Please treat us like dirt. Thank you and have a nice day!